| ok...since my class is canceled for today (which I didn't know until I
went to the class),and I am in the Arts computer lab having nothing
better to do (except I should read my textbook...but I don't feel like
doing so)...I will write an entry on my xanga....
so...what should I write.......to tell the truth...I am not very happy
recently......maybe that's just because I am thinking too
much.....plus...I have so many midterms, papers, and assignments due in
the next couple weeks...and I wasted my reading break hoping to do
something special and meaningful but ended up doing nothing
(well....not really "nothing"..I had a great Monday...but I didn't used
my reading break efficiently that's for sure)..butl...cannot really
complain about this because I shouldn't depend on someone else to give
me happiness and make those free time meaningful......I have lost a lot
of independence without myself noticing it recently.....this made me
really sad....I didn't know that I depend on you so much until I made
the the decision of not staying over anymore....all the sudden I feel
so lonely and afraid to be left alone...miss you so much.....but I
still want to keep my decisioin....cuz knowing what's right and what's
wrong is important....and being too dependen is not what you want to
see...and it's not what I want myself to be either.....Also...I am just
so confused about my future now....what's the reason for me to study
....what should I do next....what ablity do I have......all the sudden
I just feel that I am very useless....however....those problem don't
have a solution for now.......no matter how much I care about it....and
how much I think about it........that's just not gotta
help......so.....for the first time....I cannot see where I am going
.......><
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